Mapping Happiness With Expectations
Mapping Happiness With Expectations
I was speaking to an old friend last evening. She was discussing some crucial elements of her personal front.
While journaling later in the night, I reflected on our conversation, how and what happiness has to do with expectations.
I asked my self - what is happiness actually?
It's purely a state of mind, what we are thinking or feeling at a particular moment. I may have everything and still not be happy or then having nothing & still be fine.
A lot of us, without realising, stay in a permanent chase mode; in an on-going want spree.
This project - That dress - This resort- That Car - This Award - Those targets.
We always want, thinking it will give us happiness. But the truth is that most of the time, deep within we aren't sure if getting that want is going to make us really happy.
Pro-Tip : The 'why' of our want needs to be in place to set the rest right. Chances are whatever we are chasing, our goals or expectations aren't ours at all.
We should first figure out where - abouts of expectations.
1. Expectations others have from us. Our relationships - Parents, Siblings, Spouses, Friends and more
2. Our expectations from others. We want a friend or our parents to understand us
There is a third type & trust me - it's a genuine disaster !
It is our expectations from our self because we think others have those expectations from us.
A child believes that his parents want him to stand first in class. So he has to achieve that to make parents proud. That becomes his chase mode.
When such an expectation of ourselves remains unfullfilled, it leads to disappointment and unhappiness.
My teenager who likes to stay in simple attire, when she sees family members dress up well, she starts thinking that dressing up well is what is expected from her.
So there is this constant burden to be someone else, to be the version she is supposed to be.
Similarly if I are someone who is happy at home and my best friend who is a travel freak says, 'You will realize only when you move out'
That happens to seem like an expectation from my friend on what or whom I should be.
Pro-Tip: Understand that the 'Should be you' isn't or may not be the you, that you want to become. That is the you others want you to to be or then you envisage that others want you to be.
The best deal would be to be what your core is, "For Yourself - By Yourself - From Yourself"
For yourself: Figuring a single purpose of life at times may even consume an entire life. Trust me this changes every day with every situation and need. So never ask your self this question.
It's like trying to make compartments of water !
To figure our core, First we need to get there.
For instance - who is aditi ? what defines her as a person?
People and situations will come and go, but you will need you' - The Hard Truth.
It's all about - By yourself:
The key is to Accept. Accept Your core.
From yourself: 'Let the fluidity remain". Go with the flow while we alter the path in a need based format. This is something only we can do for ourself
For Yourself - By Yourself - From Yourself!
Would love to hear from you, your thoughts on how you map your happiness with expectations. If you feel this benifits a family member or a friend, do share....
Comments
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