Bitter or Better ???

Till a year  ago ,  a mask never existed for me. I didn't know or even think what work from home would be like. In fact none of us knew how mother nature would give back to human deeds in five simple alphabets and how those five simple alphabets would shake us up drastically.

'Covid' ,  We didn't know  that these five simple alphabets which had no meaning for us earlier actually had the power to change the fortunes of the globe. Come to think of it we didn't know so much. Come to think of it I knew nothing!

I did know that the new eventually becomes normal but had never thought that a normal could also become new. 

22nd March 2020, the date I can never forget - when the one-day national lockdown was announced. Not many including me had envisaged its seriousness. Lunch breaks and dinner tables did discuss China but it all sounded like a tea time story. 

The first week of the lockdown felt like a picnic to me. Living life to my convenience is the best thing that can happen to me. For me, My Office and My Work always meant happiness and the happiness continued from home, so initially it all seemed quite okay. 

I started missing My Office and My Old Life when I realized that staying indoors could at a point mean life at a stand still but that clicked me much later.

News started sounding scary by the day. Anxiety started cropping in. Human life didn't know where it was going. They say after some dark there is light but life was losing minds to be able to remember or understand this. There wasn't much difference between a day and a night. 

Am sure we all have lived that patch and remember it well. During any pandemic scenario, there are times when you are left to yourself. You are left to yourself to experience people and things whom you thought matters to you. But then situations put you to realize. 

You realize yourself across - physical, emotional, social, and intellectual strings that blend to complete you. To realize the essence of these strings to be aligned to the effect of  "You complete You" is a journey of self-introspection.

My journey of self-introspection gave me a lot of realizations. Making an attempt to share some of the most crucial realizations. 

 The first thing that I learnt was the essence of acceptance. "This is what it is" - I have to stay indoors to remain alive.  

Will overthinking this be of any help?  

NO. 

Then what? 

Live the moment and move with it.

It's painful to see what's happening around sure. But digging on things, people, or disturbing the sanity of situations beyond my control doesn't help. Besides, it is a bad idea.

I learnt to extend myself to comfort or support people in difficulty to the best of my ability within my limited capacity and refrain from any activity that could create even an additional inch of stress just in case I am unable to help. 

Come to think of it - New Normals are part of every step in life. Right from the journey of a sit to a crawl to a walk. Then why the COVID related new normal panic?

 If I am roofless, jobless, or suffering a disease, or if a loved one is, the panic and pain are obvious. But otherwise not because I have the capacity to survive.

 Survival also gives variating levels of difficulties. Like so many others,  I too have lived them.

 If mother nature has given me a compulsory indoor stay, why not use the time to invest in me? 

I learnt  to account for the one hour of office travel time I am saving and how I could best utilize it.

Few helpful questions and answers from the self:

When did I last have a heart talk with my self? How about progressing towards being my own best friend?  When did I last look at myself in the mirror? When last did I chat with my gut?  How about investing in my health?

So here is the thing: 

I took simple baby steps with a heavier focus towards my well - being, be it walk and exercise or the crisis meal plan or meditation & journaling. At times if I  felt weak, which I did, I had a chat with my mentor and she would not only boosted me up but also taught me how to be self-charged. Not that I didn't know it but in your weak moments, a push like hers always helps.

When last did I have a heart talk with my immediate family? When did I last try to clean up a misunderstanding even if I had to end a story? When did  I last attempt to de-clutter my relationships? How about investing in clearing up dramas and pile-ups from my life?

What did I do?

I made sure as a family,  we had our main meals together, cooked together, saw movies together more often than otherwise. We expressed what we felt even if it was anger and attempted to be better listeners. Importantly we practiced gratitude to gether!

Also, I  actually understood what it meant by 

"I am okay - You are okay". This need not always be the equation for even the closest of human relationships.

You know, when we interact with people we need to decide our approach and purpose towards the person and conversation, be it Parent - Parent, Parent-Child, or Child-Parent.

When I dug down deeper in to this, I understood that in  certain situations we may need to choose one between the two,  people or conversations depending on what or who is more important to us

I learnt how important it is to identify, preserve, and value my emotional bank accounts with my dear ones,  without suffocating both - them & myself. 

The lockdown also taught me that gratitude and forgiveness can never be full up. It's a way of life and pays off in form of your manifestations coming true at some point of time.  It does take a heavy investment of time & effort.

Next question to my self - When last did I look at my resume and try to figure gaps or then prepare my self for the new normals of my profession, both short term, and long term?

The Answer is: 

I planned my journey of upskilling and completed my Master Life Coach Certification to understand and deal with myself better. In the process, I analyzed my resume to mark the gaps. I took it all one at a time filling the gaps in my candidature. By this, I mean accomplishing the validations of the skills I have demonstrated in due time and the new skills I will learn in process of the upskill.  

By the way, who said learning is always restricted to resumes?  Growth has always been an inward journey they say. It's so very true. We, humans, have been students of life and will remain so.

I did all that I could and all that it took to remain sane and make sure the Aditi before the pandemic and the Aditi after the pandemic is going to be remarkably different. Better by Knowledge and Skill, Better by the Application of Knowledge and Skill, Better by Health and Maturity to deal with what life has in store.

Did you know? 

 It's not that we don't always know. It's about getting out of the situation -  "I don't know & I haven't done", "I know but I haven't done" to "I know and I have done"

I put the best possible effort to deal with the pandemic despite all the panic it gave. And I am genuinely happy with the results that I got from my efforts. My journey of becoming better to the best still continues. 'Learning is Life' long they say. And it's true.

I don't know whether she has or she will ever read my blog but I must make a mention here. My mentor, Ms. Lavanya Anand like always has been my strongest hold for each of the weak moments I have had in these difficult times. 

What about you?  What was your journey? 

Would love to hear from you:)